The Complicated Relationships within your Job

First in a four part series…

The processes of seeking a job or finding the ideal employee are as complex as any relationship. Like most relationships, this one needs to be nurtured, cared for and fed. In many ways similar to entering a new relationship, whether a new life partner or acquiring a pet. Hiring is fraught with emotion, will I like or be liked? Are we good for each other? What if I commit and they don’t? Am I really in love or is it just a pretty face? Should I be honest about those warts or lie? The relationship you are embarking on is a huge commitment, requires time to mature and attention to the other party.

Now you’ve decided you WANT this relationship. This is just the beginning of the work. The path to cementing the hire/position is still ahead. There are many paradigms that exist. Companies large and small examine the Google method, Zappos, Amazon and other creative firms. Others hold firm to ages old “tried and true”, “we’ve always done it this way” paths.

career development

To complicate matters there are the relatives involved. This is not two people meeting at the museum. There are the parents (literally for the applicant, bosses and boards for companies), nosey cousins (friends and co-workers), counselors and ministers (recruiters), and grand-parents (Human Resources).

Finally add-in the yentas. (Yenta is Yiddish word for a meddlesome gossip. In Fiddler On The Roof  it was also a match-maker). We have Bloggers, Glass-door, Monster,, Forbes, The New York Times and a host of other so-called Subject Matter Experts. Ostensibly these are disinterested and self-serving entities and in the observation of this veteran match-maker the advice is often not grounded in the real world.

In order for to get to the finish line with a healthy marriage or adoption it is important that each of the parties involved (Employer, Employee, Hiring Manger, Recruiters, Human Resources representatives) understand the needs and emotions of all the others and takes care to provide the proper love and nourishment. If ANY of the parties is derelict then the odds of success are greatly reduced. Either the relationship will end prematurely or the wrong match might be made and a commitment to the wrong partner (or breed if we’re adopting a pet) will ensue.

I offer this primer to help provide some insight and perspective to each of the various stakeholders. I consider this a guide on ‘how to care for your client/applicant/interviewer’.

Part 2 coming soon…